Ford on the Side of the Road

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Dear Ford on the side of the road,

I’m sorry your hazards are on and the country boy in my passenger seat yelled “Shoulda bought a Chevy!”, as we drove past you.

 

Dear Ford on the side of the road,

hurry up and start, the hurricane is coming!  (Secret prayer to the Universe: Please, please, please let their car start!)

 

Dear Ford on the side of the road,

I will always remember you, because of the guilt I own for not stopping to help.

 

-Scribbled in a notebook after a 17 hour car ride to a city that was only 2 hours away, to escape a possible hit from Hurricane Ivan.

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The Alligator Woman: drunk ideas gone right.

I got drunk.  I wanted a new dance routine.  I needed ideas!

Something new to the audience’s repertoire of burlesque performances.

Something that my fellow New Orleanians would adore for years!

Brainstorm, brainstorm! Make a list!  Go big! Go bold! Go weird! Go New Orleans!

I am pretty sure that I was drinking Jameson and Coke that night, because I wanted the caffeine buzz along with the intoxication.  After-all, I had work to do.  I was staying in tonight to work on my costumes.

Inspiration struck shortly after I sat down to create my list of ideas.  I was ready to start this new idea now, so I immediately hopped on my spray-painted flat-black cruiser bike, with a red rose on the handlebars.  It was a quick trip from my Marigny home on Port St., up to the French Quarter gift shops on Decatur St., where I set out to find a taxidermy alligator head.

A glamourous alligator stripper- yes, that sounds weird and lovely to me!  I wasn’t sure if I was going to be a full or partial alligator at that point.  I just knew that I loved the idea enough to get it started.  Yes, I knew it was a drunk idea.  Yes, I know most people think their ideas are great while drinking, and then they realize they are not so great the next morning.  However, that didn’t stop me.

“Large heads $75” Gasp!  My plan is foiled- I won’t pay that much!  I turned around to leave and spotted a large, plush alligator stuffed-animal for $20-something-bucks.  The head was as big as mine…I could cut it apart, make a mask out of the head and use the tail as…a tail!

Photo by Zack Brown @ Asheville Americana Burlesque and Sideshow Festivla 2012

Photo by Zack Brown @ Asheville Americana Burlesque and Sideshow Festivla 2012

It musta been a charming sight for the tourists to see- a girl riding her bike down the street with a large stuffed alligator in one hand; however, I know it was charmingly normal for the locals.