Ford on the Side of the Road


Dear Ford on the side of the road,

I’m sorry your hazards are on and the country boy in my passenger seat yelled “Shoulda bought a Chevy!”, as we drove past you.


Dear Ford on the side of the road,

hurry up and start, the hurricane is coming!ย  (Secret prayer to the Universe: Please, please, please let their car start!)


Dear Ford on the side of the road,

I will always remember you, because of the guilt I own for not stopping to help.


-Scribbled in a notebook after a 17 hour car ride to a city that was only 2 hours away, to escape a possible hit from Hurricane Ivan.


The Alligator Woman: drunk ideas gone right.

I got drunk.  I wanted a new dance routine.  I needed ideas!

Something new to the audience’s repertoire of burlesque performances.

Something that my fellow New Orleanians would adore for years!

Brainstorm, brainstorm! Make a list!  Go big! Go bold! Go weird! Go New Orleans!

I am pretty sure that I was drinking Jameson and Coke that night, because I wanted the caffeine buzz along with the intoxication.  After-all, I had work to do.  I was staying in tonight to work on my costumes.

Inspiration struck shortly after I sat down to create my list of ideas.  I was ready to start this new idea now, so I immediately hopped on my spray-painted flat-black cruiser bike, with a red rose on the handlebars.  It was a quick trip from my Marigny home on Port St., up to the French Quarter gift shops on Decatur St., where I set out to find a taxidermy alligator head.

A glamourous alligator stripper- yes, that sounds weird and lovely to me!  I wasn’t sure if I was going to be a full or partial alligator at that point.  I just knew that I loved the idea enough to get it started.  Yes, I knew it was a drunk idea.  Yes, I know most people think their ideas are great while drinking, and then they realize they are not so great the next morning.  However, that didn’t stop me.

“Large heads $75” Gasp!  My plan is foiled- I won’t pay that much!  I turned around to leave and spotted a large, plush alligator stuffed-animal for $20-something-bucks.  The head was as big as mine…I could cut it apart, make a mask out of the head and use the tail as…a tail!

Photo by Zack Brown @ Asheville Americana Burlesque and Sideshow Festivla 2012

Photo by Zack Brown @ Asheville Americana Burlesque and Sideshow Festivla 2012

It musta been a charming sight for the tourists to see- a girl riding her bike down the street with a large stuffed alligator in one hand; however, I know it was charmingly normal for the locals.